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Saturday, February 26, 2011


This morning, I opened my eyes and remembered that Misty is gone.  That may be the hardest part of the day, waking up and not knowing what to do.  She used to jump on my bed and lick my nose to wake me.  Or, she'd start grooming my face and hair.  If I opened my eyes and saw her staring at me, I would start to pet her and she would turn her adorable little head and begin licking my fingers and purring.  She had the loudest purr for such a small cat.  And, the deepest meow, a deep, gravelly meow, like a husky-voiced jazz singer.  She was adorable.  Everything about her was adorable.

I closed my eyes again and let the tears roll warmly down my cheeks.  I asked Misty if she could connect with me, and there she was - instantly available to communicate and so very happy.  She is happier than I ever saw her in life, light as air and brimming with joy.  She tells me, "We can't describe what it's like.  There are no words.  It is pure…" Then she stopped.  Love was too well-worn a word.  She waits and then continues, "Pure completeness."  I tell her I want her to stay with me awhile, and she tells me not to forget what she came to teach me.

"Tell me what you came to teach me," I say and she says that she came to teach me acceptance; acceptance of the way things are and acceptance of the decisions we make.  She tells me that we make the best decisions based on the circumstances under which we make them - the best decisions.  She then tells me that she came to show me tolerance.  As gentle as she was, she was strong.  And she stayed her ground, while making some concessions.  She never gave her "Self" away, but she made concessions where necessary, all the time being strong and gentle.  She never lost her center.  She came to teach me gentleness, tolerance and acceptance.  She loved in the face of disdain, anger and intolerance.  She was never the victim.

This was her gift to me.  I feel the lesson deep within my heart.  These are lessons I have been learning all my life.  I see Misty and behind her I see the smiling, compassionate face of my Aunt Annie, who gave me the same gift when I was a child.  That is, to be strong and gentle, to be tolerant and loving in the face of seeming injustice and, sometimes, brutality.  To know that nothing and no one can ever hurt or diminish the authentic Self that lives within, that love is the most powerful energy in the Universe.

I tell Misty that I'm not ready to let her go.  I ask her, please, please to stay awhile longer and she says to me that she will always be with me.

I fell back asleep and I dreamed that Misty materialized for me.  I was able to pet her and have her physical being near me for a few minutes more.  Then she left and I opened my eyes, and the tears fell warmly down my cheeks again.

The thing is that we all want one more day to be with everyone who passes from our lives, just one more day, but even if we are granted one more day, we will want one more day after that.  Is it ever enough time?  Misty tells me that it is.

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