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Monday, February 21, 2011

In Sickness and in Health

I was sick for a week, fever, headache, congestion, exhaustion.  I could barely get out of bed.  If I hadn't had two cat sitting jobs and one wonderful dog-walking job, I would have stayed in bed all week, but I was able to drag myself out and spend time with the lovely animals that were left in my care.  It was good for me to be with the animals.  Otherwise, I would have allowed the old voices in my head convince me that I am a lazy, good-for-nothing slug.

It's amazing that with all my years of uncovering, discovering, recovering, there are times when those negative voices get a hold of me and won't let me go.  Equally amazing that as soon as I started feeling better, everything was right again.  My hope is back, my optimism, my certainty that my life is unfolding divinely and Divinely.  My fear about money that crowded my thinking is gone and I am sure that I live in an abundant Universe and will always have everything I need.

The image of my mother, defeated by life, lying in her bed, unable to find much joy in anything presents itself to me when I'm laid up.  And, then I fear that I will follow her footsteps into despondency, lethargy and poverty.  I'm constantly working to change those voices and pictures and, for the most part, I succeed.  But when I'm sick the way I was last week, unable to do anything for myself, the old patterns emerge.

Thank God for the animals!  As sick as I was, the time I spent with the animals was time out of my head.  Those are the purely unselfish moments, when someone else is more important than the way I feel, when I am able to give myself unconditionally to the care of those gentle beings who ask for nothing more than my  company.  They don't think I'm a lazy, good-for-nothing slug.  Each one greets me at the door with excitement.  "Hey Eileen - so happy you're here! Play with me!  Brush me! Pet me! Walk me! Yay for Eileen!"

As they nuzzle their beautiful furry little heads in my hands, I am sure, once again, that I am on my Divine, God-given path with full support and encouragement from my Higher Guidance.

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